Souless in Miami

You may leave your heart in San Francisco, but your soul in Miami? Yep. I feel like a piece of me died over the weekend..well, ok it wasn't that bad.

Miami is like being in a foreign country in many ways. Culturally, it is really interesting. Socially, it is really not. I used to think LA was bad regarding appearance obsession. Before my trip to Miami, I made jokes that I didn't have the right color tube dress to wear to a formal occasion, or the standard "uniform" of strappy high heels, tight-ass jeans, and a halter top that shows ample cleavage-but alas, when I got there-I found it was no joke. The one thing I did appreciate was the store mannequins. They all had ample asses and thighs. And, the women, no matter what size, all sported like outfits. I think as a man, I would suffer from over-visual stimulation. After a while, I wouldn't know what to look at, and unless you have a fat-money clip, the look but don't touch rule applies. And the men. Well, I guess some women go for the beefy, tan, with open silky shirts and gold chain type-or as I call them, the "Larrys."

Miami definitely left an impression on me (in the form of a massive black bruise on my back as I fell on a hunk of metal in the ladies room and drunkenly hugged the porcelain throne for a few hours). Everytime I got kneed in the back on the 5 hour plane-ride home, I was reminded of sweet Miami. Maybe the fates wanted me to remember the trip as a valuable experience? Could be, but more likely it was punishment for one-too many satanic jokes in the Catholic church. Touché!