The devil made me do it

I drafted this post earlier in the month and went on this amazing tangent about religion only to accidentally delete that portion. So, I'll do my best to recap.




Ok, so I work in an area of downtown that some might find...challenging. I view it like an obstacle course. I get panhandled and manhandled every 1/2 block by nut jobs that the city and society has decided to discard. I walk through a wall of flies and urine to access my building and open my shutters to the beautiful downtown sun and daily sexploits of the local perves and/or junkies. Last night, some guy went nuts and decided to throw what I can only assume were rocks at the windows of the building I work in. This building is the oldest stone structure built in 1869 and is an icon of the city's history. As a native from SF and historic preservationist, I appreciate the value of such a place. So when some doped up freak decides to graffiti, piss and/or vandalize a unique piece of history, I start to lose my faith in humanity.


I once had a discussion with an unnamed family member that put me in a state of awe, pity and shame. We were watching some news program about former atheists who had a near death experience, or something along those lines, that changed their religious perspective to the total opposite extreme. My family member said something about those who don't believe in the afterlife will be without respect for human life and have no morals, yadda, yadda. I thought he was kidding and my amused disbelief turned to slight horror, than rage because that ignorant observation was not a joke. I made a point of saying that just because people don't believe they will be rewarded in the next life will not make it their mission to cause suffering in this one. What makes it acceptable for some disgusting primate of a human to rape, torture and/or kill someone, then be forgiven in the eyes of "man" or a "higher being" because they chose to accept "god" before being put out of their misery? Frankly, I come from the school of "I don't pretend to know what the fuck will happen to me when I die." I'll know..well...when I die (if I even have a sense of "awareness" or "knowing" which I doubt because of the lack of brain function and all from being..well...dead!). Many of the more popular organized religions have a way of presenting "fun" things as bad. Frankly, if I have to spend my whole life on this earth repenting bad things I haven't done or don't intend to do, or maybe do partake in but which doesn't hurt anyone else...I'd rather join the disco party in hell.