A Year in Review

Well, 2005 has been quite a year. It feels like time just flew by. It's been an interesting year full of good times and hard lessons. On a personal note, it has been a progressive year in self-reflection and understanding. Maybe it's the acupuncture, but I definitely have undergone quite a bit of mental and physical transformation. The gist of what I have come to realize is that everything that affects us is a lesson in disguise. Sometimes the toughest of lessons are the best ones. What can you take away from every experience, every moment of awareness? I spewed a bunch of perspectives and experiences in past posts, inspired by both good and bad things I went through or witnessed. Some were tough, but I like to think I got something out of every situation, creating inner strength. I'm closing this year with a bit of an "even Steven" feeling.

It reminds me of when I was a little kid-soooo sensitive. I'd balk when people stepped on leaves on the ground or used terms like "retard." Loser you say? Maybe, but I like to think gentle and sweet. Then I went to public school and that shit just didn't fly-seemed like my feelings were always hurt. I had to toughen up-became a bit of a punk-ass (participating in childish pranks like crank calling, tearing down my neighbors Xmas lights, stabbing a whiney brat in the leg with a pencil..you get the idea). I got hard and cold. “Fuck that, them and it all” became a mantra. But now, I realize there is a way to function in between. We don't have to be doormats, should embrace our independence, yet acknowledge that we are indeed human and have feelings-and, well...that's ok. We are good enough, strong enough and god-damn it...people like us. And if they don't, who cares. Like yourself.

So my children, the final moral of the 2005 story is: Don’t trade any moment, no matter how painful or ridiculous, because to have experienced something is better than nothing at all. The good times certainly outweigh the bad.

Oh, and did I mention Bruce Campbell?