"drive unicorn with ligament"

Ok, before you read on to my Eore-like ranting below, let me explain the new title of this post. My original title was "It takes a lickin' but..." - see then I got this awesome "suspect" spam email with the above title and figured this is just too weird not to get an honorable mention.

ANYWAY!

Well. I wish this could be an awesome self-healing, yadda, yadda fluff post, but alas, life would prefer to keep me in a state of negative self-defeat. Sooo sahweet.

So my loves, you won't be losing me to the glories of rainy Seattle, but maybe to the streets of SF? I've made enough friends with the junkies, bums and hookers at my building to warrant some good street advice I suppose. Ok, well maybe things aren't that dramatically bad. But, they sure as hell aren't going well fo'shizzle.

My job, my home, my health are all in limbo. Stress + frustration = psycho dani-darko. See, I'm already babbling nonsense on my blog. All I can do is focus on my birthday, my great friends and my trip (which I probably can't afford now, but what the fuck, right?).

Ok-let's play

According to the "Which Big Lebowski character are you?" quiz:

Why don't you check it out? Or we cut off your Johnson!

Tough choices

We all have to make tough choices in life. It would be great to enable a Charles Dickens analogy and view what life would be like having made a different decision. We make these choices with regards to love, money, environment...the list goes on and on. Some decisions are made out of fear, some from forced circumstance. There are so many factors that lend themselves to shaping our lives, that I suppose a Dickens situation isn't really possible.

I was recently flown to Seattle, all expenses paid, to interview for a position with another company. One that oozes with money. But move to Seattle? I've lived in SF my whole life. But, can SF address my desires and life plan? What if I want a family? I'm not too keen on my options here so far. What if I don't always want to be the one forced to compromise? What if I hate the job and I'm stuck there? What if this, what if that? Is is fortuitous that at the same time, my current project is starting to sink like the Titanic? Taking over in its current state would be like volunteering as captain of a sinking ship. Suicide. Because the captain is supposed to go down with the ship. (Just thought I'd spell that metaphor out for you in case it wasn't all that obvious). I guess life is about taking chances. Why waste time with regrets when nothing can be done to change past decisions. Sigh. I need to re-read the lessons learned post, because you can learn from the past. Uhh, right?

Do things happen for a reason? Can we control our lives or is there such a thing as karma and/or fate? I mean, my immediate concerns have revolved around planning my trip and hoping to get a fucking "missed connection" posted in my honor on CL before my birthday. Ego driven, sure. I have a missed connection of my own. With an answer. But I guess that's one I'll have to create. No, I didn't smoke anything. Just reflecting. What would the lord almighty say...