Where's my airborne bitch?!

I had to leave the BC stuff up for a while. I'm still coming down from my "nerd-high" having met the king of awesome one liners.

It was gay pride weekend, which is always done with plenty of fevor in San Francisco. I decided to take a walk to a bar in the Mission, passing through the Castro District on the way. I couldn't help by snap my fingers to the blaring beat of Donna Summers pumping out of a huge party buss with gay.com and a greased up shirtless hunk on the side. The passengers were parked outside of the Metro bar, drinking, semi-nude, some wearing cowboy hats. Looked like a giddyupping good time. Nothing like a "transportation party" (see ring-a-ding ding post) to kick off the weekend.

I'm going to Boise in a few days. I'm a little nervous because it's definitely not what comes to mind when I think "city" and I can't help but wonder what'd the locals in Idaho would think of images described above. Would they embrace it? Accept it even? If not, it's too damn bad because those boys can party. I have to remember not everyone grew up with an open-minded, liberal upbringing as most of my friends and I did. I pity people who are so close-minded that they protest equal rights for any and everyone. How does it fucking affect them who is allowed to get a marriage license? Maybe a possible solution is to give those troublemakers a slice of ecstasy iced wedding cake and let the good times roll...

Now...I am complete

Oh, and here's a fan letter I wrote to him. Yes....I really did. Man, I suck! Please don't judge me.

Dear Bruce,

I just had the pleasure of making your acquaintance in SF for your book tour and promotion of the "Man with the Screaming Brain." Thanks for initiating the generic small talk and feigning interest in what I do for a living. I wish I had the nerve to ask that you write "workshed" in my book or make a sarcastic comment about how big the font is in your new book, but I didn't want to run the risk of you having me hauled out of the theater.

I think you are awesome and found my wait in line, flanked in a nerd sandwich well worth the hour and a half. I also enjoyed the Q&A session. You have a great smart-ass wit and rarely have I seen anyone field so many lame questions with such vigor and rapid "kiss my ass" come backs. If the Tsunami did hit, I would’ve been glad to be at the Balboa listening to you.
Keep it all coming-you rock!

Signed,

One of your cooler fans

Seriously, look at the wrists

A line up of classics

Be cool baby

He yelled that after a group of big punk guys went ballistic at seeing him. I found myself in a nerd sandwich as I waited for an hour to see Bruce. My patience wore thin as a guy cut in front of me to hang with his fellow geeks and discuss how he should move to Hollywood because he loves celebrities and meets them all the time, oh...and that his dad is a neuroscientist. Once the conversation turned to Star Trek, I tuned out and tried not to grab what little hair he had left and haul his ass out of line for cutting me.

Anyway, I finally got my turn. BC told me he liked the color of my coat and that he had a lot of lavender on his property. It's ok if he's a little color blind..I mean he's Bruce Campbell. We made lame small talk as he asked me what I did for a living. Then we read from his book and took a photo. Awesome. The main thing I noticed about him was that he had chubby wrists. Anyway-I was amped. Though the "Man with the Screaming Brain" is not his best work, it was great because he acted in, wrote and directed it. The Q&A follow up was a bit painful. Bruce is great-kind of a prick, but fielded the inevitable lame-ass questions with lots of vigor and plenty of "kiss my ass" throw backs. I wanted to get into character and yell "Say workshed!", but thought better of it. I also wanted to ask him if Steve Martin was suing for copyright infrigement. See the movie, and you'll understand.

All around, it was totally worth freezing my ass off for an hour in line. Got my book signed, met the man, and all it cost was a little dignity. Groovy.

Zzzzzz, huh-oh yeah...a post

Good god. What the hell was I thinking. I stayed up on Friday night until 4:30am (technically Sat am), slept till 11am, then got up. I then stayed up till 5:30am on Saturday night (technically Sunday am), slept until about 10am, got then got up. Let me say this. I am tired. I now break into a cold sweat when I start to hear the birds chirping at the morning sunrise. I admit, I did snatch a nap or two, but nothing to write home about. I dragged my ass around the Haight Street Fair on Sunday, got sunburned (yeah, yeah...see "lessons learned post").

I think I've taken my own advice a little too far (see post about living life to the fullest). Now I'm fucked for the day. I just juiced myself with my second huge cup of "awake" tea and four splenda. That makes a total of eight splenda for the day. I know..it's gross. I read splenda is good because it's made from sugar. I also read that it causes addictive symptoms like irritability, stomach problems, headaches, withdrawl. I say giddyup. Everything is good for you, but really bad for you right? Or is it the other way around?

Anyway, my roommate just moved out after his one year deal. I have my place back and for the first time, it's really officially all mine. No junk stored by my family. No visitors. Mine. Sure I'm tired and maybe a little poisoned from my splenda intake. But happy. Sweet dreams!

Time flies

We are now at the 1/2 year mark. Six months into the "new" year already. I think as I get older, time seems to go by much faster. When I was young, it was always a forever wait to get to the next "stage" of life. Supposed sweet sixteen, then eighteen to become legal, ahem yes..vote and all that, then twentyone-the final push to be able to party like an adult (although by that point I had burnt out a bit).

Anyway, sometime around twentyfive I started to feel like time was going by a little too fast. The years that previously seemed to drag were now flashing past. Kinda like a rollercoaster climb to the top (the anticipation and uncertainty seem to take forever)...then over the "hill" (ok-that pun sucked)...and then holyshitimgunnaralph dooowwnnnnn the steep. I suppose the best part of this new time/reality adjustment (or whatever you want to call it) is that my weekends come much faster.

Anyway, I did have a point to this post (don't I always?) and it does reflect a certain level of adult wisdom (or at least borrowed wisdom). So much can change when time is going by all the faster. This year started out pretty shitty and stressful, but now...so far...it has redeemed itself and is turning out pretty great. I can give solid props to 2005 as of this first day of June. If life is going to go by so quick, I'll be sure to make the most of it. The cliche is true-make most of the time you have, after all you only live once.