Temporary Bliss

Though my travels were far from "vacation-like" in the sense that there was no pool lounging, tropical drink sipping, cabin boy servicing, spa treating activity, it was an amazing cerebral adventure. Whenever I go on trips like that, I'm sad to return and eager to resubmerge myself back into the culture.

Being home was relaxing through the weekend. Then, my life blew apart all over again as work stress, health issues, home turmoil and pretty much everything else reared it's ugly face again. It's been a tough year to say the least and even my acupuncturist said I was definitely being "challenged" by the universe.

So many little things have been going on, so I'll summarize some of the more interesting, if not unusual experiences. I've seen a ton of music over the last two years and some great art as well. Went to an absinthe party-the invite stated "dark cabaret," which was tough because my rib-crushing corset and top hat are at the dry cleaners. So, I opted for more of a "velvet goth" look, sans the riding crop (and, yes I do have one). The event was kind of "burning man" meets "david lynch" and while I appreciate the romaticism and danger of tasting absinthe, I switched over to my usual whiskey and soda pretty quick. Gut-rot comes in many forms, but I'd prefer it to taste good going down.

End of Days

Sigh. Our last day in Paris. Heavy hearted, we ate the remainder of our breakfast foods (or what survived of them during our trip to Italy) and ventured out to the D'Orsay Museum. We tightened grips on our bags as the warning of pickpockets rang out ion the PA system while we viewed the endless collection of Impressionist works. A little Van Gough, a pinch of Toulouse Lautrec, and a dash of Degas made for a visual cultural stimulus. After a few hours touring the museum, we set off to explore the Saint Germain district, getting our final fill of Parisian chocolate and macaroons. My feet we practically steaming by the time we walked back to the apartment where I whipped up the last of our food for dinner. We decided to "brown-bag" it Parisian style, grabbed two glasses, a 1/2 bottle of champagne and hit the park to watch the Eiffel light up and sparkle in celebration of our final night while we had a smoke. Salute!

The next morning, we woke up early to prep for the shuttle to DeGualle airport for our return to the USA. I rang for the apartment elevator as we prepared our luggage now groaning with treats to return home. Hmm. No sight of the elevator. The way the apartment is set up, the only exit, aside from the treatcherous fire-escape staircase out of the kitchen numerous floors up, is the front door which unlocks and opens directly into the called elevator. Today...yes...today it decided not to work. Cursing, we practically threw our huge bags down the backstairs in the attempt to make our shuttle due to arrive any second. Funfunfun!!!

The first to be picked up, our shuttle proceeded to the other stops, and our final pick-up..guess what...hadn't woken up yet! We sat in a semi fog of annoyance and caffeine deprivation and waited for the stereotypical American slackers to get their shit together. Of course, they were the first to be dropped off as well.

My flight back was great (after renegotiating to get back the isle seat I had reserved but which they took away for a second time). I was the only passenger to have two seats to myself, and being of petite stature, wedged myself across the two seats.

As I arrived home, I was proud at my acclimation to the culture, full of enthusiasm and determination to return and experience all the more.

Au revoir and Ciao!!

Day 8: Paris, Part Deux

After failing our attempt to negotiate to leave our bags at "the Cave," we packed up and hauled our shit out the door by 10am. We fueled up on caffeine and sat at the Trevi Fountain, mocking the fools who did not throw their coin in properly. We thought of different strategies to ignore the pestering vendors as they attempted to sell us a piece of shit water wiggly again...and again...and again. I knew better as the zipper in my fake Prada bag had already broken. The sun warmed our faces as we people watched and took in our final moments in the beautiful city.

We hauled our bags to the Metro to begin our venture back to the Ciampino airport, stopping at an Italian chocolatier along the way. Arriving WAY to early, we scarfed cocacola light and chips waiting for our flight home, as my now semi-bony ass numbed from the metal seat. After arriving back in Beauvias airport in France, we navigated our way to the bus to begin the long ride back into Paris. Once there, I threw my bags down in frustrated disgust as cabs passed us over. We eventually made it back to the apartment, delighted at it's warmth and convenience and planned our final day of vacation.

DAY 7: Blasphemous! Who me?

After the race to shower before the heat blew out in "the cave," we headed out for our near final day in Rome. I figured Monday would be an ideal day to tour the Vatican, which proved to be a huge mistake. The line stretched along the walls of Vatican City for the equivalent of four blocks. Did I really want to spend my final day in a line like at Disney Land? Unless I could ride some religious version of The Monks of the Carribean (yes, I know the treasures it holds are unmatchable), I said fuck it. I threw my coin in the Trevi-knowing I'd return one day. So, we opted for St. Peter's Cathedral. I didn't have time to reserve a tour of the secret underground Scavi, but figured we had a full day with the line there. While not as bad, it still sucked to wait for so long, especially in the icy wind chunnel caused by the semi-outdoor walled area. We wound up in line for the dome (you had to wait and pay to take the lift up-nothing is free in Europe. NOTHING) flanked by amourous couples converging in a tongue crusade.
The inside of the dome was restored-all the mosaic shimmered with colored glass. Nothing had dislodged from the wall, so no "take home" from this historic icon. We went back on to the roof and wound up going inside another chamber area. We started our ascent up an inclined path, which was becoming more and more narrow. Curious, we kept going up, not able to turn back because there were people behind us. Then...the stairs started. Up...and up...and up-jesus christ! Our hearts were thudding as the path got more narrow and started to curve, causing an optical illusion. Finally, we saw a spiral staircase which we started to climb...and climb...and climb. Sacred or not, I heard cursing in every language as the poor schmucks in front and behind us burned their quads climbing the stairs. Finally, after something like 300 stairs, we emerged onto a terrace on the very top and outside of the dome. The panoramic view of Rome was INCREDIBLE! Pidgeons parted like in a John Woo flick as my obscenities rung out across Rome, having raised my camera to take a photo realizing I was indeed out of fucking film.

DAY 6: We came, we saw, I cried

Escaping "The Cave," we ventured out for yummy cappuccinos on a quest to see the historic ruins. We as we walked we turned the corner I saw it and my eyes teared up (although that could have been from the wind and dirt pelting my face). I don't care if it's a total tourist site, been over publicized, etc. The Coliseum is magnificent especially you it register how old and significant it is in history.

I did not deface this relic thank you. There was a chunk on the ground, already dislodged which I took home.



These I believe we the ruins of Apollo's temple.
The vendors all sell pretty much the same stuff (think Fisherman's Wharf and the cable car cache). I haggled him down for a rosary made from crushed roses in a container with the Pope's face on it. I gave it to the one catholic I know who could also appreciate it's campy value. It was either that or a mock Greek statue with overly accentuated buttocks (which he also would have appreciated I'm sure!).

We decided to take the double decker hop on and off bus. Tourist fools you say? Well, it was the best way to see every site and transport around town. The usual evening of internet cafe and gellato followed. Then back to "the cave" to soak our feet and rest in preparation of the next day's visual buffet of delights (men, food, retail, relics-whatever!)